Where did you get a picture of my penis
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
