So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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