I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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