I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It's Friday. Sex?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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