How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
