ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
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i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
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At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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