Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she peed on how many people?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
