We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I love having hate sex.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
