How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
