Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
