No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
