marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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