this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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