I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
