you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
