Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
