Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
