sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
