Banned from zoo.
Again?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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