i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
