My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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