I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
