we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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