I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
