No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
