I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
