Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
