Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
