So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
