I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she smelled like a LAN party
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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