I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
