Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
