people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
