Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
