What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
