Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
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im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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