Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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