Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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