lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
