i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
