Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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