How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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