Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
