So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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