I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
