dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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