I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
