Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
