"it" just moved
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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