you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
