You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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