Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Floor bacon is actually really good
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
