your parents love me but you hate me
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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