How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Did I show you my penis last night?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
