He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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