I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
