dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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