it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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