it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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