I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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