Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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