Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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