i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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