So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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