I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
