No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
